I’m knowing to die



Ever talk to someone who knows everything? That’s a trick question because you can’t talk to someone who knows everything. People who already know everything don’t listen. Why would they? They already know. Schiller writes “knowledge is death”. I think this means the state of ‘knowing’ involves stagnation, a closing off of the curious outlook required to attune to the world around you. Knowing means there is no reason to investigate further, integrate new information or question your perspective. People who know things go through life with eyes smugly closed, applauding their own awareness while remaining disengaged and unavailable to the world around them. Knowledge is particularly devastating when we think we know each other. First of all, you can never really know a person, not even yourself. People are constantly changing, every day, every moment. You are literally not the same person you used to be, partly because your cells completely regenerate after every 7 years, and partly because your mind goes through a similar continuous metamorphosis. People who say they never change aren’t paying attention or they have numbed and suppressed themselves to the point that that changing part of the mind has simply been lulled to sleep or worse. If you know a person, you stop attuning to them, and therefore you cannot nurture them. Nurturing means a person is aware of your ever-changing needs and takes steps to accommodate your needs. This dynamic is the way we sustain the mind and the way we sustain relationships with each other and with ourselves. So the next time someone says they know you, ask them to reconsider this perspective. The people who care for and mean the most to us in life are those who continuously rediscover us every day. Taking a stance of not knowing allows us to be more open to the nuances and subtleties of the self and others, which means you can respond to needs more efficiently and quickly. My clients often come to me disturbed that they don’t know themselves. To this I say “Congratulations! Let’s bottle that and sell it. Knowing yourself is the last thing you want. Knowing others and being known by them is the fast track to empty exchanges. Always be naive to yourself and your life. Approach your life as if it is undiscovered territory, and you will see that it mostly is. This is when real change happens.”

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